One of the greatest joys in life is when a restaurant waiter actually puts the lemon in my water without having to specify “water with lemon please”. These two items, water and lemon, would seem to go hand in hand. Like Lucy and Ethel. Cows and Milk. Arsenic and old lace. Remember the days when you would just get a slice of lemon in your water without asking for it? Nowadays, you must specify "with lemon" and your server will look angry that you having requested such a novelty. You know what, Debbie from 'Applebees', I don't need your attitude. I did not request a sharper knife that made you dig through the utensil drawer. I did not request a booster seat which signifies you will be picking up Cheerios off the floor 45 minutes after your shift ends. I did not order an eight dollar dessert that you will have to labor over and garnish yourself because the establishments I can afford to eat at (IE 'Shakeys' or 'Chiles'), do not have a pastry chef but rather, a pastry microwave. All I have requested was a slice of lemon in my water! I have waited tables and I’m positive lemon involves no personal application, except picking up a pair of tongs. I’m so sorry to trouble you.
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